Preface much?

Time to roll up the old sleeves and dive in. Now, if this was a traditional novel, I'd probably breeze right past the precursory Author's Note and maybe even the preface, but in the immortal words of Aerosmith circa 'Armageddon', I don't want to miss a thing.

On the literal first page, we have some quotables, and already I'm rolling my eyes. Of course, the attention grabber is John Travolta. It's downhill from there. I sort of recognize the name Lee Purcell, but I had to IMDB it (credits include such timeless classics as 'Bonanza' and 'Jake & the Fat Man'). But to make the book appealing to Main Street USA and Hollywood Blvd alike, we've got some plugs from your typical proletariat as well. Unfortunately, the books editors get a little overzealous with the sales-y buzzwords. Every plug is from a "Leading", "Top", "Champion", or "Expert" professional. In my mind, gratuitous adjectives like these only stand to undermine the credibility of the quoted, but maybe that's just a pet peeve. I'll forgive it.

Next, I suffer through a number of instructional pages which direct me on how to get the most out of this book. (Two of which are pictured here).

One is a strict lesson in study habits - if I see a word that I do not understand, I am to stop reading until I have the word defined for me. Lucky for me, the book promises to assist me with both a glossary and a series of footnotes.

My immediate issue with this is that the same page that takes the time to define "terra incognita" for me (thanks, I know enough basic latin to puzzle out "Unknown Land"), it breezes right over shit like "engram" which is a word THAT THEY JUST MADE UP. Later, they define the term "bedlam" (duh) but not their use of "re-active mind" which is also an apparently important concept that they just toss out there. So I'm already flipping to the glossary, already annoyed.

Now I come to the part that has me absolutely incredulous. Here's me, paraphrasing:

"Just FYI, we're not going to bore anyone with the data, equations, calculations or proofs that substantiate any of the outrageous claims we're about to make. There's not enough room in the book. But, we shit you not, we had tons of fucking scientists and beakers and chalkboards and all that, so should just go ahead and trust that everything we say is an inarguable law of nature. Besides, most scientists are jerks, anyway."

Now that I've paraphrased, here are two of my favorite quotes so far:

"You should have seen the first equations and postulates of Dianetics!"

"Almost all the basic philosophy and certainly all the derivations of the master subject of Dianetics [are] excluded here, partly because this volume had to stay under half a million words".

But also partly because it's all fiction? Just a guess.